Monday, January 8, 2018

What I Learned After Moving Across the Country

I've lived in Oklahoma for about four months now! At times it's gone quickly, and other days felt like they would never end. Instead of writing my usual post-move update, I thought I'd switch it up by sharing some things I've learned from my move. I said "moving across the country" in the title, but I think most of these could be applied to anyone moving to a new town, especially where you don't know anybody.


It will be really hard // This is probably an obvious one, but it's something I learn every day. It's so easy to accept a job and pick up everything and move, but I don't think I realized just how hard it would be to make friends, meet people, get involved, feel at home, etc. I knew I was moving to a smaller college town, and I knew it would be difficult since I'm an "in between" as far as age in this town goes, but I definitely didn't think it would be this hard. It's kind of silly to say, but I've never felt like more of a misfit than I have these past few months!

Positivity can be frustrating // I feel like despite the past few months, I've remained relatively positive about my living situation. Sure, after going home or even visiting a friend in Dallas (or any city bigger than Stillwater...) I get a little negative and jealous, but I've forced myself to get over it. Although I tried to tell myself that being positive will definitely help me make friends and "find my place," it didn't work. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I was and am able to stay positive all the time, but DANG. Sometimes I just want to scream from the rooftops and complain to everyone in sight.

What can be frustrating is feeling like you've tried literally everything to put yourself out there and still failing. It's frustrating to have to act like I'm happy whenever someone that I work with asks. It's frustrating to not speak to anyone for 48 hours over the weekend. It's frustrating when someone who lives in the same city as their friends from college and 45 minutes away from their parents complains about being homesick and having a hard time adjusting.

You will question your move a million times // I've thought "why did I think this was a good idea?" more in the past 4 months than ever before. And trust me, I've made some questionable "good idea" choices in the past. For now, I'm just taking one day at a time and trying to remain grateful for my first job. It's too early to say if it will all be worth it in the end and that moving from a big city to rural Oklahoma was worth it, but hopefully it will be!

27 comments :

  1. I feel some of these things when I moved from Phoenix to Chicago. It took a long time to really get settled, and some of my routines completely changed. The hardest part was not having as close of friends in your city.

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    1. Definitely! I've been struggling to get anything going on the friend front, and I'm hoping that the new year will bring change.

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  2. I can really identify with the difficulty of making a big move. We moved across country 5 years ago. I finally feel as if we've settled into our new hometown, but it took a long time and I did question myself more than once in those early days.

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  3. I only moved a couple of hours away from home and I questioned it so many times, I can't imagine what you went through.

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  4. Moving is so hard! I appreciate your honesty about that. I'm about to move across town, and I'm even nervous about that!

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  5. Moving anywhere is hard - I've had to do it too so I feel your pain. It takes time but eventually you'll find your place. Good luck!

    xo Deborah
    Coffee, Prose, and Pretty Clothes

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  6. Uh yes to all of this!! Especially the positivity can be frustrating one. I've tried to maintain a positive attitude after my big move in 2017 as well, but there are definitely really hard days. I hope it gets better in 2018 girl! :) I'm happy I've been able to read your posts this year and know I'm not alone!

    xoxo A
    www.southernbelleintraining.com

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  7. lol i can SO relate to the positivity struggle! sometimes I'm great and feeling great, other times I just want to scream curse words and complain until I'm blue in the face lol I guess thats why its a practice!

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  8. I've never had a big move, but it sounds like you have it all figured out! I am obsessed with your doormat btw!

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    1. Thank you! I've gotten so many compliments from neighbors too!

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  9. I've moved only twice since college--once from Michigan to China, and then from China to Malaysia. I think making a big move all on your own would be very hard, because making new friends from scratch is not easy as an adult. My biggest strategy for making new friends when we move is...I can cook! As soon as we moved to China, we made it a goal to invite someone over for dinner once a week--a coworker or neighbor or someone else we happened to meet. It wasn't always easy, and there was a bit of a language barrier because my Mandarin isn't completely fluent, but I think building that habit really helped...and I got to introduce a lot of Chinese people to American foods that they found really strange, like tacos and sloppy joes, haha!

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    1. Oh wow I'm complaining about a move to Oklahoma, I can't imagine moving to an entirely different country! Unfortunately my skills are very, very limited in the kitchen hahaha but it sounds like I need to start improving in that area to make friends!

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  10. It can be tough to make friends as we get older, but not impossible! I'm so glad you've got a positive attitude and you're taking it day by day! It took soooo much courage to make the move you made! I bet you'll soon be taking charge of your new town and hanging out with newfound friends!

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  11. I'm so glad I don't have to go through this- it sounds so tough. I hope this new year brings you lots of fun & happiness!
    -Nicholle
    www.nichollesophia.com

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  12. I've never moved across the country before but moving across the state to college was certainly a big change haha.

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  13. Yes to the last one! I still have those thoughts three years into my cross-country move. And I love that taco mat, haha!

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  14. I moved from Cincinnati to LA almost 5 years ago now. It gets easier and easier every day. And even though I think of those first few months as a struggle, I would never have known myself in the same way. It gave me the confidence to know I can make it on my own and stand on my own two feet. Hopefully you'll feel the same sense of pride and confidence!

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  15. Wow girl I feel you! Once I moved to Barcelona I thought myself: Why the heck did you do that. And since I am back home, I just want to go back to Barcelona haha!
    Its a struggle, but enjoy every moment of it! ♥

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  16. Moving can be so tough and sometimes we don't always expect that. I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty in this post! I've found that the older I get, the harder it is to adjust to sudden change (like moving, or a job change.)

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  17. I moved from the DC area to Seattle almost 6 years ago. It took me about 3 years or so to really feel settled. Hang in there!

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  18. Girl, props to you! I just moved 4 hours away for college and that was tough. I wish you all the best in the new year!

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  19. Moving can be so hard! I don't know if I could handle a cross country move and everything involved in it. You're amazing for staying so positive!

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  20. This is amazing! I can only imagine just how much you learned - it's such a great test for yourself!

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  21. I haven't ever moved across the country but as someone who already has a hard time putting herself out there to meet new people I know it would be hard. You are so brave, I admire you for trying to stay positive even though you feel like a misfit.

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  22. Searching for new friends, or events to meet new people? You may have an unknown acquaintance, with out going outside! Just look at the link for more details video chat online, you will understant what I am talking about. This is great oportunity to relax some day, with a lot of different people inside your PC ;)

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  23. Expect your orientation will last less than 5-minutes. This is okay for someone that’s done this before. So if you haven’t, be sure to write down all your questions and insist on a detailed explanation and demonstration. cross country moving companies

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