Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Real Talk

I originally had an outfit post planned for today, but I decided to switch around my calendar in favor of some real talk. In the spirit of being totally candid, I’ve been struggling recently. Struggling about my future, my friendships/relationships, what the heck I’m going to do with my life, how I’m going to make a difference in the world, how I can separate myself from other people who are exactly the same as me… I mean, the list goes on and on and on. I can just feel my anxiety flaring up at that list.

When I look at my life even a year ago, I thought everything would be so different. I’m smart. I’m (relatively… most of the time) easy to talk to. I make a great first impression (so I’ve been told). I’ve always had jobs and internships and volunteer experience, even if they were in the wrong fields. So where did it all go wrong?


Well… the thing is… and what I keep having to remind myself of, is that literally nothing has gone wrong. Sure, I’m not living my best and most expensive life in New York City, but same goes for 97% of the people I know. Maybe I’m still living at home (hi mom, hi dad, you all don’t read my blog but s/o to my roomies anyway) but so are tons of people, and that's ok (for now)! I’m working 3 part time jobs, but I have no bills to pay and no one who relies on me. I’m literally just an average 22-year-old who feels like her life is in shambles because of outside influences that don’t even matter.

The biggest part of my struggle has been social media (shocker!). You know, that girl who never had her sh*t together in high school that now has a full-time job in an expensive city who goes out every night and brunches every Sunday and scores an elusive meeting with the CEO of a major company on Monday morning. More power to that girl for getting it done, but come on!! Why can't that be me? But then I remember that social media is just a curated picture of what we want our lives to look like to others. Deep down, those people who look like they have their sh*t together most likely don't. (And that's okay too).

I’ve talked to a lot of older people recently and the same thing always comes up: I tell them I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, and they say, “That’s ok, neither do I.” So then why is there this pressure to be incredibly successful right after graduating college? If someone in their 50’s has no idea what they’re doing with their life (so they say), why is there so much pressure on me to know what I’m doing with mine?

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have them now, and there’s a pretty good chance that I won’t have them in the next 5, 10, or 15 years. I mean, I hope to have a little more than I do now, but hey, one can only hope. My point is, if you’re feeling stuck, or left behind, or a combination of both of those feelings, you’re not alone because girl (or boy!), I’m right here with ya.

21 comments :

  1. Girl you aren't alone in how you're feeling! I have a job in my field that I love... but I work about 110% of the time and my personal life right now is like nonexistent. It's so hard to have it all and social media doesn't help. :/ Just know you aren't alone in how you feel!

    xoxo A
    www.southernbelleintraining.com

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  2. I honestly don't think anyone has it all figured out. I think everyone is always working on something or pivoting - there's no shame in that! Some people just pretend to have it all and don't want to seem vulnerable, which is okay too. You're not alone, I promise!

    Carrie | https://carrieeliseandkho.com/

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  3. Girl I LOVE this!!! I still live at home too, and while I occasionally feel bad about not living on my own yet, I don't have bills to pay yet either in that sense. My mom always reminds me that at 22 while still living home, we can do fun things and enjoy experiences that are expensive while living at home because we don't have those added costs. Totally feel you on this, and you're definitely not alone!

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    1. I agree! The last time I lived alone with just my parents was when I was 2 years old before my sister! I'm glad that I get to experience real things with them now.

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  4. you are not alone girly!!! I don't even have my life figured out! right now I play it day to day and I am happy I have a family who supports my passions.

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    1. So true! A supportive family is the best!

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  5. You will get here someday!! You just have to have drive and find your passion. And everyone has their struggles with life

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  6. Girl you are so not alone! I think that one of the things I realized is adults have no idea what they are doing either. We all are making it up as we go!

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  7. Girl, I feel ya on that. After I graduated I felt the exact same way.

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  8. Remember "The Power of Positive Thinking". You can do this!

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  9. I totally feel ya on this one. Social media can be a killer if we start to play the comparison game.

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  10. Amen to this! I totally feel you with literally every single thing you said, and social media is a definitely buzz kill. Just when I start feeling amazing about where I'm at, I see someone I went to high school with living it up and having an amazing life. And of course I think "why not me" and get embarrassed about where I am. Sure I graduated, got a master's...but don't use it, live with roommates, and wouldn't be able to pay bills if I had them. But you know what? It's ok! It's going to work out at some point as long as I'm putting in that effort. It might not be tomorrow, but it will happen!

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  11. Girl... you are so young. You have time to figure it out. I have two bachelor's degrees and a master's degree (which I regret) and I am not using any of them. I used to think I was a career woman, but that's totally not me or my personality. I've been working from home at a job I love for the past 2.5 years. Sometimes things fall into place. Just don't feel pressure to be something, because you don't have to be what people think you should be or do what people think you should. Just as long as you're happy with your life, that's all that matters :)

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    1. Ahh I love this. It's a fantastic reminder, thank you!

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  12. I feel like u were inside my head when you wrote this one. I'm a few years older than you and when I say this is my daily struggle. I def feel like I'm working twice as hard and things still aren't going my way. I've lately decided to just control what I can control and pray everything else falls into place. Good luck girl and know u def aren't alone on this one!

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    Replies
    1. Yes! I definitely have had to try and focus on my lotus of control recently :)

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  13. Most people don't have it together but we share only the positive on social media. I would not compare myself to that girl you described because she has her own problems (perhaps lots of debt?). I find that focusing on myself and what I want to do is more important.

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  14. Social media sucks!!! There, I said it!!! I wish I could give it up (at least following all the unrealistic brands and blogger accounts) BUT I think the real lesson is to look inward and focus on yourself and WHY we feel jealous/pissed/confused when we see other girls kilin it. I totally feel you though I'm the same way! I think I'm doing well and then I see someone else doing better (and looking better while doing it). But, social media doesn't give us the whole picture so we never really know, do we?

    Kayla | kaylablogs.com

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  15. Your honesty is so good! Having been in your shoes, so many of us feel this way. Especially when you're 22! You may not ever know exactly where things are headed, but you'll definitely feel less of a struggle eventually. You've got this girl!

    Molly | www.missmollymoon.com

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  16. You are definitely not alone. I am 40, and I still have no idea what I want or where my life is going. I have had more jobs than I can count with my fingers and I am still trying to discover who I am.

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  17. Love this girl! Trust me I'm in the same boat and I'm 26! I graduated college and ended up at a job that I didn't really care for or helped me grow. It's all about learning and trust me you will get there!

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