I mentioned a few weeks ago how this was a season of change for me. Fall brings so much change for everyone, but looking back to where I was and how I felt just one year ago, I see how much I've grown and changed.
I think the biggest thing that has changed in my life recently is my mood. For the first time in what seems like forever, I am genuinely happy. And the best part is, that happiness is rooted in myself and not something (or someone) else.
March was so hard for me. Everything about it was horrible, and I fell into a dark, spiraling depression. I hated feeling that way and I hated the way that the people around me felt because of my constant sadness. I had no idea what to do to pull myself out of that funk. One day, I woke up and realized that I was in charge of pulling myself back up again and that nobody else could do that for me.
It didn't happen overnight, but slowly and surely I made myself happier. I started laughing and smiling more, even when I didn't think things were all that hilarious. Instead of pointing out things in the mirror that I hated about myself, I pointed out a few things that I liked. (This was hard, I didn't like talking to myself in a mirror, but it really did help me out.) I created a mantra and I repeated it to myself out loud every time I went to sleep. And then I woke up one morning content with myself and with the way my life was going.
Making an intentional effort to cut out negativity in your life can really go a long way. It can be hard and sad, especially if those negative people are heavily involved in your life. You'll feel alone and stared for a while, but then slowly start to feel the weights lifted off your shoulders. For me, I realized that I was so dependent on those people as my source of positivity and happiness, and at the end of the day, it was a completely dysfunctional relationship. It was one sided, and ended up being horrible for everyone involved. Once those people were less involved in my life, I had to find another source of happiness and found it in myself instead.
True happiness is a wonderful thing, and I love love love that I'm experiencing it right now. Here's to hoping I can keep it up for the next few months too!
How do you find happiness?
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