Usually I love hometowns on the Bachelor/Bachelorette, but this episode was so underwhelming. I don't even think I truly paid attention for the first like hour until Robby started yelling? Anyway, let's recap it.
The episode starts out in Chase's hometown of Highlands Ranch, Colorado. It's beautiful. (Side note: I looked it up and Highlands Ranch is only an hour and a half from Breckenridge... Chase, call me.) They start the date on a cliff overlooking the beautiful countryside. They're talking about Chase's parent's messy divorce while drinking heavily from a thermos. Now I don't know for sure, but I don't think it's actually hot chocolate in there. Chase brings her back to his bachelor pad and his dad comes over. The conversations are pretty generic, and it ends with his dad telling him not to mess the relationship up like he did with Chase's mom. After his dad leaves, the couple go over to Chase's mom's house for dinner and drinks (but mostly drinks). More generic conversations go on about how Chase and his sister can't say "I love you" to people and it seems very healthy. Chase's mom is super cool and fun though, and eats dinner in her track suit, so he has that going for him. At the end of the date, he finally tells Jojo that he's falling in love with her.
Next, we head off to Jordan's hometown. Jordan and Jojo spend some time walking around the halls of Jordan's high school. Why. He admits to Jojo that he never had a high school girlfriend, and I'm pretty sure it's because he had many girlfriends. But also after seeing his high school football pictures, maybe it's true what he's saying. Jordan tells Jojo that Aaron doesn't need to be a topic of conversation at dinner, so naturally, it's all they talk about. When they get to Jordan's parents house for dinner, I can't help but LOL at the two empty chairs at the table. Nice touch, ABC. Jordan's mom tells Jojo that she calls Jordan her "spicy child" because he is the perfect combination of spicy and well behaved. It literally makes no sense. As they leave dinner, Jordan tells Jojo that he is falling in love with her, and, more rationally than I have been giving her credit for, Jojo starts crying and tells him that she's really nervous that it wouldn't be forever if they ended up together. He reassures her, but I think she is still doubting him a little bit. (Too much to end up together IMO.)
The third family we have the pleasure of meeting is Robby's. I used to be so about him, but in the past few weeks I have really grown to dislike him. I don't trust him at all, and even after all of the rumors I'm upset with Jojo for not seeing it! Anyway, the two of them go to a restaurant and she asks a question that is really important: "You broke up with your girlfriend of 3 years like 4 months ago, and you're already in love with me. What is going on?" and he smoothly replies, "Why would I be thinking about her when I have you?" It's annoying. Go away, Robby. They go over to his parents house for dinner and his dad introduces himself to Jojo as "coach." Ew! There are like 10 family members over for dinner and it bothers me a little until I realize that that would totally be me if I made it to Hometowns. When Robby and his mom talk, she grossly caresses his thigh and tells him that people are spreading mean (true) rumors about why he came on the show. He freaks out a little and goes to tell Jojo, who eats up everything that he says before kissing (side note: the camera is awkwardly close and it's really uncomfortable) and forgetting everything that just happened! I have a lot of beef with Robby over this whole thing, and Jojo should, too. The guys on the show aren't cast really until the beginning of March, but he definitely applied for the show before breaking up with his girlfriend. No matter if the relationship was over nine months before it actually ended, he definitely knew that going on the show was a possibility.
Our last hometown date is with Luke. I looked up Burnet, Texas and it is literally in the dead center of Texas with nothing else around it. It kind of freaks me out because I know that I could never ever live there, ever. They drive down a literal dirt road to Luke's house and there are a ton of cars there. It turns out that Luke invited the entire population of Burnet to come to his house and meet Jojo. Oh, okay. Bold strategy. Jojo seems to really like it but I think she wishes that it had been a little more intimate. Luke and his dad go off to talk and I don't think there was a dry eye in any house in America. His dad just gushes over how proud he is of Luke and thankful of the service he provided for his country and it's really nice. I don't even think they really talked about Jojo, but I was too busy crying literal tears. Speaking of literal tears, it only increases from here. Luke and Jojo start riding off into the sunset on horses. While the couch he leads them to faces away from the sunset, the scene is really beautiful and I'm only getting more and more obsessed with Luke. He leads her down a candle lit path to a heart made of rose petals and just pulls at the heart strings of every girl in America. He tells her, "The friends and family that you met today each have a part of my heart. They have made me who I am. And now you, you have my heart." I'm not kidding you guys, I literally burst into tears. <3333
It's time for the rose ceremony now, which takes place in an airplane hangar. Kind of a weird setting, but I dig it. The guys all walk in, looking like they stepped out of a fancy menswear catalogue, and then Jojo arrives. Y'all, she looks gooooood. That blue gown is my favorite so far of all the ones she has worn this season. Before it gets started, Jojo tells the camera, "I think I have to say goodbye to Luke," and I literally stop breathing. Like, don't you dare, Jojo. Don't you dare!! Luke senses this and asks if he can talk to her and she says, "yes please." They step outside of the hangar and he finally tells her that he loves her. This is apparently a huge game changer for Jojo, and she quickly spirals into a huge anxiety attack. I get it girl, I'd be freaking out too. And then all of a sudden, three dreaded words appear on my TV screen. "To be continued." HONESTLY.
Luckily they're kind of making it up for us by having two episodes next week, but really it doesn't help anything at all. Monday is the much anticipated Fantasy Suites date and Tuesday is Men Tell All. It'll be interesting seeing Chad again, and I can't wait! See you all then!
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