Is it just me, or was this week's episode of The Bachelorette incredibly boring?! My goodness.
The episode started off with Jojo exploring the streets of Buenos Aires, Argentina. I have always wanted to go to Argentina, so I'm pretty jealous. Like usual, she's talking about how she can't wait to find love and how her decisions are super important. And like usual for the guys, they yell out, "HOLA JOJO!" randomly in the middle of a park.
They walk into a fancy hotel and immediately all start commenting on how fancy it is. Honestly, ABC should rent out one of the giant rooms in a hostel for an episode. Now THAT would be hilarious. The first date card arrives and it very forwardly says, "Wells, Kiss me." Because apparently you can make it to week six of this show without having kissed your potential fiancee. (Who you will be getting engaged to in FOUR WEEKS.)
I've always been a big fan of Wells. I find him funny and approachable, but I'm really nervous about this date. Watching him interact with Jojo is incredibly awkward. Like week one awkward. Get it together, Wells. The date is in this weird hands-on art warehouse slash dance club. Both of them are talking about how they're waiting for the big kiss making all of the attempts SO AWKWARD. Wells finally makes the move when they're done awkwardly rolling around in water.
At dinner, Wells and Jojo almost get into an argument of sorts over passion in relationships. Honestly this date is so awkward and I'm ready for it to be over. Which is good, because soon, it is! Jojo doesn't give Wells the rose, making this the first time I've seen someone go home after a one-on-one date. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit!
After saying goodbye to Wells and crying a little bit in the streets of Argentina, Jojo returns to the art warehouse slash dance club ALONE. It's amazing. She's just standing there and crying. But despite all of that, she looks AMAZING. That jacket, y'all. The dress. Everything. Werk it, girl.
The group date is next, and it's clear that Jojo has a type. The Clones (Robby, Jordan, Luke, and Alex I guess) plus James T. are invited to literally go on a walk with Jojo around a cool, art neighborhood. They end up playing a game of "pick up soccer" with a bunch of locals who speak no english. James T. is telling the camera that he's so insecure, he just really loves Jojo, blah blah blah. The locals make a bet with the guys on the date: whoever makes the penalty kick gets to kiss the girl. James T. once again addresses the camera, saying that there's no way he'll win the kiss. Making it clear to everyone that he's going to win the contest. He does! And gives Jojo the most un-dramatic kiss ever. I don't know about y'all, but if I were James T. I would have dipped her down and spun her around and then kissed her.
The cocktail portion of the date is also pretty basic. James T. is concerned that Jordan isn't there for the right reasons (which everyone has thought from the start honestly), but Jojo has always loved Jordan so she asks him and gives him a quick vocabulary lesson. "Entitled? I don't even know what that means but I'm not entitled." LOL. Then we're treated to one of the most awkward confrontations ever. Honestly, I study a lot of group communication settings and Jordan could have handled it many ways and did it all wrong. But none of it matters because neither of them gets the group rose, which goes to Luke instead.
For the first time ever, there is a second two-on-one date. It's between Chase and Derek. Refresher: Derek called Chase (and others) out last week for being mean girls. It was hilarious and awkward and pretty irrelevant. It's an awkward dance class date where Jojo is saucily tango dancing between the two men. Did anyone else notice that Chase (supposedly the "good guy") was wearing a white shirt, while "bad guy" Derek was wearing black? This date is super awkward and I hated watching every single minute of it.
Honestly, I don't remember what happened for the rest of the date. They went to a fancy dinner and walked in like Jojo was some sort of high end call girl about to be shared between two guy best friends. The conversations were so boring at this point that I didn't pay attention to them and used the opportunity to refill my wine. (Sorry.) I think it went something like this:
Jojo: I like you more than you like me.
Chase: What!!!!! No!!!!!
Jojo: I really liked the way you opened up to me. Will you accept this rose?
Derek was sent home and cried and I laughed. Two glasses of wine deep. Oops. ;)
Was there even a cocktail party this episode? I seriously do not remember there being one.
Enter rose ceremony. The usuals all get a rose and it comes down to Alex and James T, who is nervously sweating through his suit. Alex also looks gross and sick this episode, so I don't know what was up with him. Suddenly - Jojo dramatically says, "I'm sorry" and runs a la Cinderella down the front stairs of the palace. She talks to Chris Harrison for a little bit and then comes back inside sans-rose. I'm honestly rooting for her to send both of them home. I'm not sure how James T. is even still in the running, and Alex is just a bratty mean girl at this point. Much to my dismay, this doesn't happen, instead Chris Harrison re-enters the room with two roses. Yay! They both get one. Alex is mad because he "didn't beat" James, and James is just excited to still be here.
Hometowns are right around the corner so I'm really excited for the next few weeks. The preview for next week looks like a full-fledged attack against Jordan so it should at least be entertaining to watch Jojo proceed.
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